I feel that local fare can be abit paradoxical at times and like molecular gastronomy, their looks can differ vastly from taste. Take a classic example of the Hainanese Curry Rice which most first-timers would have a bit of trouble convincing themselves that a dish fashioned like sludge would actually taste heavenly. As a kid who grew up in the 80s, years of hogging the television, watching countless episodes of the Transformer cartoon had me chanting that cheesy slogan, “More than meets the Eye”.

Our tour today brings us to the busy intersection of Jalan Besar and Kitchener Road. Positioned at the corner of the junction just one meter away from the traffic light post is today’s recommended venue, Lau Di Fang, a mandarin cliche for “the usual haunt”. As seen in the photos, this rundown coffeeshop that has been in operation as early as 60s. Also observe that the owner doesn’t give a flying duck about presentation whatsoever. There’s only two stalls within, one serving drinks and the other serving the famous Beach Road Scissor-Cut (Jian Dao Jian in chinese) hainanese curry rice hence the modus operandi of having a meal is pretty simple. Either you walk in and order curry rice with an optional drink or you walk out, cross the road to take a bus back home and then contemplate on what you’ve just missed.

Legend has it that the original stall previously managed by a hainanese gentlemen was established 40 years ago. The jolly chap peddled his wares off Beach Road which explains the stall name’s association. The chump was known for his penchant of scooping rice out of a wooden barrel with his bare hands (Yes, bare hands, less mimicking the sound of an excavator though) and pounding the chops with a wooden mallet. Back then, the dishes was only limited to pork chop, braised pork belly, fried eggs and stewed cabbages, none of those fancy schmancy dishes available today.

The present day Scissor Cut Curry Rice being a household name, is common yardstick for curry rice. Any proclaimed devotee of curry rice not aware of its existence is pretty much a taboo. Stockpile of sambal ikan bilis, fried eggs, braised cabbage, pork chop, chicken chop, fried prawn fritters, braised pork belly, sotong and many more variety are jammed into this nondescript coffeeshop kiosk where they scoop and snip your choices of dishes into bite size pieces with the iconic ol skool scissors (which was probably how they derived the stall name). The plate of laden rice is then handed over to an adjacent gravy station where it would be drenched in a combination of curry gravy, braised sauces and some tasty starchy concoction with a consistency almost equivalent to those cheap fluorescent pink hair gel. You then proceed to pay for the plate of mess they created at the cashier and move on to scout for an empty table just like any self-serve kopitiam environment.

To be honest, this dish basically has got zero visual appeal. It looks like the work of a deranged painter left with only brown and orange paint. Taste wise, its as chronicled in the lyrics of Fantasy by Earth Wind and Fire. This dish will take you to Fantasia with its splendid gamut of flavours. The crunch of the pork chop, melt-in-your-mouth stewed cabbage, savoury pork belly braised in dark sauce, gravy drenched rice, all combine into a perfect amalgamation which is very very palatable.

Although April’s around the corner, avoid offering this recommendation to a foreign guest from abroad and getting a broken arm in return for offering them pig’s swill. Else go for the kill if dishes loaded with thick sauce rocks your boat. Its bound to hit a sweet spot!

-Darth Sidtoh